1-2-3 Let the healing begin…

I keep reminding myself, that God is controlling this whole show, so I have to sit back, and let him and stop trying to control it myself.

On Aug 12, 2012 I decided I had enough alcohol in my life to last me a lifetime. I started reading The Big Book on August 15th. Started attending my my first AA meeting in my area on Aug 18, 2012. I started attending Celebrate Recovery at my church soon after, and today I am celebrating 39 days sobriety! I am in complete amazement. I am in the process of retraining my brain from all the things I have always done, to new and different exciting things.

The God starts placing people in my life and events that I truly need. For me to face the adoption issues head on, and have someone close to me to help me do it is an amazing thing, but I must admit I am pretty scared. I know how I feel about adoption, and I know how a lot of adopted parents feel about adoption, and I’m praying this won’t create some sort of clash between me and this wonderful woman, who I can now call a friend. I pray that God gives me the right words to use, and the right things to say so that maybe I can help her understand a little better of what her adopted son might be going through, or what he might face in the future. I think God has put us in each others lives for many reasons.

This is the newest event in my life. I am very blessed and thankful to be here, and can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me.I am living walking proof there is a God and there is nothing anyone can say or do to make me believe otherwise.

3 thoughts on “1-2-3 Let the healing begin…

  1. A touching and powerful story. Healing takes time, but the hurt never truly goes away. Healing helps you forgive and move forward. There are professionals, who work with and prepare adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents for what is termed “reunions”. Everyone involved need to be prepared with different scenarios, because you cannot predict the responses of others.

  2. Anonymous– You are so right. I have been going through this healing process sense 11/12.. I must say it has been an amazing journey! At first I was working on issues with childhood sexual abuse, then I began to work on domestic abuse issues, because I was in domestic violent relationships from the ages of 13-31 and I'm 38 now.. I have uncovered that deep down, my adoption issues over power all the rest. Abandonment, Rejection, and a second rejection after I spent a lifetime of searching, dreaming and hoping they were searching for me too. Little did I know they weren't, and they wanted nothing to do with me after I found them. This has been a tragic journey to say the least. I have always used alcohol to mask the pain of my adoption, the loss and grief associated with it is unbearable at times. But TODAY I am 67 days SOBER and I have a clear mind, and I am feeling every bit of the pain I have always ran from. I really am wanting a professional counselor at this time, because I would love to have someone to talk too one on one who undserstands. BUT from my experience this person needs to either be an adoptee, or have some great knowledge on adoption to even be able to understand me a little bit. I find that when I express my adoption losses, and traumatic experiences to someone that has never been in my shoes, its pretty exhausting and frustrating to speak from my adoptee heart, and they look at me like I'm nuts. I just WISH I could make people understand, but by my blog I can hopefully help them a little better, but we all know we cant MAKE anyone do anything! LOL Thank you so much for your post, and I will be checking back. If you have any suggestions on how I find a adoptee counselor in my area, shoot them my way! Also, if you haven't already you might enjoy this new like page. It's founded in mind to help people understand what it feels like to be adopted! 😀 http://www.facebook.com/howdoesitfeeltobeadoptedBlessings to you!!!! XX-P

  3. Oh, I also meant to add.. I met a very sweet lady on my twitter, shes an adult adoptee, and she expressed to me that ACCEPTING my adoptee situation for what it is, is a very important step in the healing process. And I am working on that. I sure can't change it, but I swear I believe God put me through this to minister to others on how to overcome the emotional bondage that many adoptees face. To help raise awareness that many adoptees are in pain, and what can society do as a whole to help their pain. I am also learning that the seperation between my birth mother and I is by far the greatest tragedy I have ever experienced, and for me that will always be a painful area. When I talk of her, I begin to cry like a new born baby, and Its crazy to me, but it's true. I am learning its OKAY to have these feelings, and some things are just going to be that way. I am learning to cope, and be able to speak about it and hopefully help others in the process. 🙂

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