Articles

The Real Adoptea Moxie by Pamela A. Karanova is now on SUBSTACK! 

Pamela A. Karanova is an Adult Adoptee, Writer, President of Adoptees Connect, Inc, and the Founder of Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th. Pamela has been featured on Adoptees On, Religion News Service, Reckoning with The Primal Wound, and Overcoming Odds. Bold | Courageous | Fierce | Writer | Unruly Adoptee | Truth…

Recommended Resources for Adult Adoptees & Adoption Advocates

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988. Suicide – Read This First Adoptee Centric Therapist Directory – Grow Beyond Words Marie Dolfi – Specializes in counseling for all members of the adoption constellation. Adoptees On Healing Series – Adoptee Therapist  Abby…

She Just Had a Bad Adoption Experience

Wow, at how many times I’ve heard people whispering these sentiments as I walk on by with a giant-sized adoptee chip on my shoulder. I couldn’t even begin to count, but it’s a lot. Even when they don’t say it directly to me, I feel…

Why Do Adoptees Search? An Adoptee Collaboration

I feel adoptees have the most powerful voice in the adoption constellation and we hold the keys to understanding and healing not only for ourselves, but the world around us. The key is that non-adoptees have the willingness to listen and learn. I would like…

About Your Happy Adoption Story 

Something that continuously feels like a kick in the teeth is the need for anyone to proclaim how their adoption story was a wonderful one, in the midst of an adopted adult sharing how our experiences have surfaced grief, loss, trauma, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. …

Being Adopted and The Significance of the Black Hole

Before sharing specifics, I need to bring Seasonal Affective Disorder to light. I suffer from this each year as fall approaches until early spring. Because of this, I feel what I describe as the “black hole” is much more prevalent in my life during that…

Lying Lips and DNA Kits

It’s not enough that many times the information that is relayed over to the adoptee/relinquishee is shadowy at best. Still, often we are presented with information based on inaccurate data that is usually restricted and modified to stall the adoptee/relinqishee or throw them off entirely…

Dear Non-Adopted Friends & Family Members

I will do my best to share from a place of grace because a lot is on the line here, but I also refuse to sugarcoat things to make them comfortable for anyone who reads this article. Hopefully, I can reach a middle ground that…

Adoptees Deserve Far More Than What They Get

*Disclosure Statement: I do NOT claim to speak for all adoptees in this article, nor do I claim ALL adoptive parents are abusive or fit the narrative of the topics brought to light in this article. CHILL #apfragility And for the record, Jesus, his love,…

Adoptees, Pseudonyms & Identities

The topic of identity can be a lifelong paradox and struggle for many adoptees. It’s much easier for adopted individuals to tap into their true identity when they have the truth to guide them along the way. However, for many of us, we experience secrecy,…

Adoptees, Mental Health & Daily Self-Care

Once again, I’m noticing a significant amount of changes in the adoptee community, and it’s helped me reevaluate and reorganize my commitments on where I stand within this community. We all have the abilities to make these choices for ourselves. Back in 2010, when I started…

The Fight of My Life Revised

THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE – REVISED  by Pamela Karanova August 13, 1974, the fight began, The minute I was born, my birth-mother ran.  Conceived out of a drunken one-night stand with a married man, Did my tiny body ever feel her warm, soft hands? A…

My Sentiments on Iowa Bill HF855

My Sentiments on Iowa Bill HF855 IA HF855 – A bill for an act relating to access to a copy of an original birth certificate by an adoptee or an entitled person, providing for fees and including effective date provisions. (formerly HF 723, HSB 226)…

Earth Day, Mother’s Day and My Adoptee Epiphany

Today is Earth Day, and Mother’s Day is right around the corner. What does each of these days mean to me, being an adult adoptee?  Let me back things up a bit and explain what my experience was like with my earthly mothers. My first…

The Difference in Today, Feeling the Feels

I’ve come to a recent discovery after doing some self-reflection that I am someone that takes longer than your average person to process feelings, especially ones that are considered heavy or disheartening. I’m naturally a BIG feeler and a deep thinker. While discovering this, it…

My Views on Adoptee vs. Relinquishee

Over the last few years, I’ve learned the noteworthy difference in the concept of an adopted individual referencing themselves as a relinquishee and why this is even a thing. Take note while I share here, I’m sharing from the perspective of an adoptee adopted from…

2021 – A New Year, A New Chapter

It’s time to turn the page We’re winding up 2020, which could very well be the worst year of many of our lives. It’s been so weird, in so many ways, that most of the time, I don’t even have the right words to share…

Acknowledging My Dance with Depression

This isn’t an easy topic for me to write about, but I feel it deep in my soul that it’s a topic I need to bring to light. Especially right now in our current times. I have never acknowledged that depression has impacted me, and…

Taking My Adoptees Connect Hat Off

For now, but not forever. Disclosure: This article does not mean I’m quitting Adoptees Connect, Inc. It means I’m taking the Adoptees Connect hat off when I share certain things about my journey, as well as when I write here in my blog. One of…

Adoptee Dreaming & The Island of Lost

[DREAM] – Indulge in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired. [LOST] – Having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place, direction, etc. Dreaming – One more adoptee robbery to add to the list of LOST. The traditional concept of dreaming has…

Honoring My Rebirth-Day!

Here I am again as another trip around the sun comes to an end while the last few months of 2020 is fast approaching. Yesterday I embraced the beginning of a brand-new trip around the sun. A new page. A new chapter in this book…

My Experience with Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)

I  wrote an article not long ago titled “RIP RECOVERY” I recently was triggered by previous traumatic events in a current way. Gah! This has created some mixed emotions, many based in anger and sadness. I credit ADOPTION: The gift that keeps on giving! I’ve…

Learning to Just Be…

I’ve been working really hard at being okay with doing nothing, learning to JUST BE. I must be honest, It’s a new place for me. One more silver lining I give to Covid-19, but if I’m transparent,  it hasn’t been easy. For 45 years of…

R.I.P. RECOVERY

Never in a million years would I think I would be at a place where I would be writing about this topic, let alone feel like it is a piece of fabric intertwined into my journey. So much has changed in my life in the…

15 Significant Steps Towards Adoptee Healing

I’ve had so many fundamental moments that have played key factors in my healing journey that I wanted to write an article about them in hopes to support my fellow adoptees on their healing journeys. Without these steps, I was stuck in agony and heartbreak.…

Is Open Adoption The Answer?

Time to seek input from those of us who have the most expertise in the adoption constellation- The Adult Adoptees!⚡️ The topic of OPEN ADOPTION keeps being brought up as a solution to closed adoption, and I’m seeking wisdom from the adoptees here to share…

Drowning in Adoption

Covid-19 has changed my life enormously, but before it came along I was spread thin, embarking on a social, emotional, and mental breaking point. Covid-19 was what actually allowed me to take some steps back and re-evaluate my life. With this step, I’ve been able…

Happy Mother’s Day to The Missing Mother

Mother’s Day is approaching and it is a touchy day for so many people, especially adoptees. I seem to find words to write about how I feel about Mother’s Day each year, and I’m noticing the more I heal in my own personal journey, the…

Dead Man Walking

I began searching for my birth family as soon as I found out I was adopted around 5 years old. Everywhere I went, I was searching for HER, my birth mother. As I reached my early 20’s I had already found my birth mother.   But…

Mirror, Mirror – Mi Amor

Something about a MIRROR has always been extraordinarily symbolic to me. From the beginning of my life, the mirror brought me great sadness and pain, as I looked at myself I had no idea who or what was looking back at me. I would look…

Finally, Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30, 2020

A You can find the original posting of this article at Adoptees Connect, Inc by clicking here. What is Adoptee Remembrance Day?  Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30, 2020 serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of crimes against adoptees by adoptive parents, an action that…

I Don’t Know My Mom

I don’t know my mom, but I wish I did. I’ve dreamed of her everyday ever since I was a little kid. Spending a lifetime of searching, I finally found her name but uncovering the truth has been a heartbreaking game.  Adoptions don’t have beautiful…

Saying “Hello” to Adoptee Grief & Loss

I decided to write a short article about this topic, because over the years of coming out of the fog and being in recovery it’s come to my attention that so much of the adoptee experience is rooted and grounded in grief & loss. If…

Happy Mommy Dearest Day

Times Two  Mommy Dearest #1 is the mommy that gave birth to me. She relinquished all rights to parent me. She left me at the hospital then decided to flee. Mommy Dearest #2 is the mommy that adopted me. It took me a lifetime to…

Adoptee in Recovery AKA Pamela Karanova

Spring is in the air, and life is to be lived! I hope whatever it is you are doing, you are enjoying life in the process! One thing I’ve learned over the last few years, is that we have to take time for ourselves. Whatever…

Leaving the Church, Quitting the Search

Finding time to write in my own blog has been nonexistent lately. WHY? Because I’m putting everyone and everything in my life ahead of myself. Writing has always been EXTREMELY therapeutic for me for so many reasons. You can see my blog goes all the…

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