Concluding Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th, 2022 but Adoptee Voices Will Continue to Blaze
by Pamela A. Karanova Adoptee Remembrance Day: October 30th, 2022, has recently passed, and the collective echoes of adoptee voices can be reflected worldwide. To learn more about this day, click here. It’s no surprise at the outpouring of support the adoption community has received about… More
For All The People in The Back, It’s Time to Acknowledge Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th
What do I mean by “For all the people in the back?” It’s saying “SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK” aka for the people on the sidelines, in the shadows and/or for the people who refuse to acknowledge the sentiments in this… More
Chapter 20. Who’s Your Mother? – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir by Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 20. Who’s Your Mother? November 11th, 2010, was a game changer for me. After learning my birth father’s name and receiving confirmation of his location from multiple sources, I made a decision. I could leave my birth mother’s funeral and drive back to Kentucky… More
Chapter 19. A Casket and Clues – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 19. A Casket and Clues While my kids stayed in Kentucky with the twins grandma, I hit the road in November of 2010 and arrived in Waterloo, Iowa, on the day of Eileen’s funeral. I was entirely out of my element, being the adoptee… More
Chapter 18. Ulterior Motives – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 18. Ulterior Motives My first task after arriving in Lexington was to find a job and a new place to live. Of course, with no car, that wouldn’t be an easy task; however, I knew I could do whatever I set my mind to… More
Chapter 17. New Beginnings – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 17. New Beginnings While I had no biological or adoptive family in Kentucky, my twin’s grandmother lived there. She was always supportive and involved in the twin’s life as much as she could be states away and before we moved to Utah. On one… More
Chapter 16. Five Years in Salt Lake City – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
I remember several life-altering experiences during our five years in Salt Lake City. I was drinking my life away, partying while working, and being a single mom. I was in one relationship in the five years I was there. I think my relationships with men… More
Chapter 15. Deal Breaker – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 15. Deal Breaker The three-day journey to Utah from Kentucky seemed like an eternity. The twins weren’t even a year old yet, and Keila was close to five years old. I was piled into a car with Patricia and my kids. We stopped every… More
Chapter 14. The Struggle – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 14. The Struggle Life was about to take a whole new turn. I graduated from high school and got my diploma, and I also enrolled in some courses at the local community college. On May 21, 1998, I gave birth to twins as 29-week… More
Chapter 13. The Naive Adoptee – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 13. The Naive Adoptee Even when the signs were right before me, I was still the naive adoptee. Putting myself “out there,” never dreaming for a million years that things could end up a different way than I had imagined. A lifetime of fantasizing… More
Chapter 12. Illusions – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 12. Illusions Joanna picked me up from the airport in Waterloo, Iowa, the town I was born in, where Eileen lived. It was a cool crisp morning in September of 1995. The leaves started falling and stirring on the ground, adding beautiful colors to… More
Chapter 11. High Hopes – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 11. High Hopes I was elated that I was on the phone with the woman I had fantasized about my entire life. “I have thought of you every year on your birthday, and I hope you have had a great life. What is it… More
Chapter 10. Paperwork Promises – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 10. Paperwork Promises I will never forget Patricia’s following words, “When we were going to sign the adoption paperwork, the attorney gave us the wrong paperwork. Thomas saw your birth mother’s name. If you call him, he might remember it.” The emotions that came… More
Chapter 9. A Reason to Live – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 9. A Reason to Live The next few years of my life were blurred, and the memories I have during this period aren’t genuinely happy or wholesome. I was constantly partying, and the less I had to sit with myself, the better. Don’t get… More
Chapter 8. Transporting Trauma – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 8. Transporting Trauma Trigger Warning // Suicide // Physical Abuse Approximately 6-8 hours after trying to leave this world, I woke up with a hazy and sluggish feeling all over my body and mind. I remember lying in bed thinking, “Damn, I woke back… More
Chapter 7. Goodbye World – Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 7. Goodbye World Trigger Warning // Physical Assault // Violence // Suicide Eventually, we left the small two-bedroom Westover Road apartment. Instead, we moved to a bigger three-bedroom townhome closer to Lyndale Mall. My relationship with Giovanni became my whole world, filling a massive… More
Chapter 6. Twisted Love – Finding Purpose in The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 6. Twisted Love Trigger Warning // Physical Assault // Violence // Suicide Now that I was no longer visiting the Rodriguez’s house, I had more free time on my hands most days. At this stage of my life, Patricia was still working the night… More
Chapter 5. Runaway – Finding Purpose in The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 5. Runaway Trigger Warning // Rape, Sexual Assault, Suicide This will likely be one of the most challenging chapters I will write for my audible memoir. Some of the experiences I had from 12 to 17 years old are hard to digest, talk about… More
Chapter 4. Searching for Clues Among Chaos – Finding Purpose in The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 4. Searching for Clues Among Chaos By Pamela A. Karanova “I see…the way you’re always searching. How much you hate anything fake or phony. How you’re older than your years, but still…playful, like a little girl. How you’re always looking into people, or wondering… More
Chapter 3. Corn Fields for Days – Finding Purpose In The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 3. Corn Fields for Days by Pamela A. Karanova Trigger Warning // Childhood Sexual Abuse It was Friday at 5PM, it was time to head to Dunkerton, where Thomas and Laura lived, along with Mark, Max, and Mike. It was an hour each way… More
Chapter 2. Good Adoptee vs. Bad Adoptee – Finding Purpose in The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 2. Good Adoptee vs. Bad Adoptee By Pamela A. Karanova Trigger Warning // Suicide While my sneak life brought me some fulfillment in my childhood, what was going on inside behind closed doors was something almost no one knew about. Patricia suffered from untreated… More
Chapter 1. Sneak Life – Finding Purpose in The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Chapter 1. Sneak Life By Pamela A. Karanova “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” – Anne Lamott. I grew up in a small town in Iowa called Cedar… More
Acknowledgements – Finding Purpose In The Pain, One Adoptees Journey From Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Acknowledgements By Pamela A. Karanova “Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” – Khalil gibran My… More
Introduction – Finding Purpose In The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing, An Audible Memoir By Pamela A. Karanova
Introduction By Pamela A. Karanova “We have to walk through all the adoptee layers, to make it to the light, but it won’t come overnight or without a lifelong fight!” – Finding Purpose in the Pain – One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing,… More
Adoptees, Why Are You So Angry? Over 100 Adoptees Share Heartfelt Feelings
In 2014, I decided to call on my fellow adoptees on the How Does it Feel to Be Adopted? Page to help collaborate and share thoughts from the heart, reflecting the voices almost always overlooked in the adoption constellation. Over 8 years of collecting these… More
Pamela A. Karanova – Finding Purpose In The Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing – An Audible Memoir
Over a decade ago, I named my memoir “Finding Purpose in the Pain, One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing,” Although a lot of time has passed, this is still the name I would like my memoir to be today. At one time,… More
Being Rejected Before Being Born – An Adoptee’s Perspective
It’s no secret that adoption impacts every adopted person differently. When sharing my story, I describe my separation trauma and relinquishment experience before I was adopted as three separate layers of the primal wound and mother wound: The rejection from my birth mother before I… More
Being Groomed for Gotcha Day – An Adoptee’s Perspective
Many of you have heard of the term “Gotcha Day” over the years, and it seems like it isn’t going anywhere. For those new to this term, Gotcha Day is a day our adoptive parents have picked to celebrate, reflecting the day our adoptions are… More
Adoptees Are Not Gifts and Possessions – An Adoptee’s Perspective
“All children are a gift from God,” – Says the world. I believe this is part of the reason our adoptive parents refer to us as gifts; however, to refer to each adopted individual as a gift would insinuate that children are owned by someone… More
The Vital Contrast Between Relinquishment Trauma, Separation Trauma, and Adoption Trauma and Why We Should Consider the Difference
I am learning and growing to understand all the layers of the adoption experience from an adult adoptee’s perspective. I am entirely open to learning and growing in my experience, my story, and the stories of my fellow adoptees, intercountry adoptees, and/or multiracial adoptees. Recently,… More
She Just Had a Bad Adoption Experience
Wow, at how many times I’ve heard people whispering these sentiments as I walk on by with a giant-sized adoptee chip on my shoulder. I couldn’t even begin to count, but it’s a lot. Even when they don’t say it directly to me, I feel… More
CALLING FOR TRANSRACIAL ADOPTEE SUBMISSIONS
One of the most powerful projects we have created together is – 100 Heartfelt Adoptee Quotes that Honor the Truth of Adoption. Here’s the link if you haven’t seen it yet! ➡️ https://bit.ly/3LGKF2L 💜 Next, I want to create a similar article dedicated 100% Transracial… More
Why Do Adoptees Search? An Adoptee Collaboration
I feel adoptees have the most powerful voice in the adoption constellation and we hold the keys to understanding and healing not only for ourselves, but the world around us. The key is that non-adoptees have the willingness to listen and learn. I would like… More
Adoptees, Why Did Your Adoptive Parents Adopt You?
I write about the difficult dynamics in adoption, the ones no one wants to talk about. As I have emerged from the fog of adoption, I’ve learned that not all adoptees are adopted for the reasons most people think they are. So what was the… More
The Raw Resentment I Have Carried for Most Adoptive Parents and What Changed – An Adoptees Perspective
Yep, I’m going there. I write about the difficult dynamics in adoption, the ones no one wants to talk about. But before I do, I’m not here to throw my adoptive parents under the bus for what they did or didn’t do wrong. At this… More
The Hypocrisy of Classifying All Biological Mothers as Relinquishers – An Adoptee’s Perspective
I don’t like anyone telling me what to call my biological mother, and when they try, it grinds my gears in a wild ass way! I had a fellow adoptee DEMAND I call my biological mother, MOTHER. If I didn’t, she insisted I was feeding… More
Being Found VS. No One Looking – An Adoptees Perspective
The thoughts coming to life in this article are reflections I have had brewing for a very long time. My perspective is from the natural lens of an adopted adult who unfortunately had no one from my natural family looking for me, not in this… More
About Your Happy Adoption Story
Something that continuously feels like a kick in the teeth is the need for anyone to proclaim how their adoption story was a wonderful one, in the midst of an adopted adult sharing how our experiences have surfaced grief, loss, trauma, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. … More
Dear Perpetual Adopted Children and Everyone Who Knows and Loves Them
Per-pet-u-al – Never ending or changing, continuing forever. Depending on where you live, most people gain the legal status of being an adult between 18 and 21 years of age. For all the “Adopted Children” between the ages of newborn and 21 years old, I… More
Being Adopted and The Significance of the Black Hole
Before sharing specifics, I need to bring Seasonal Affective Disorder to light. I suffer from this each year as fall approaches until early spring. Because of this, I feel what I describe as the “black hole” is much more prevalent in my life during that… More
Adoptees, You Are Not Your Abandonment and Rejection
I know the title of this article is so much easier said than felt, but man, I have to share a few things about the experiences and wounds that many of us carry that I describe as very deep-rooted abandonment & rejection wounds. When we… More
Why I Have A Blazing Passion to Share My Story and What It Cost Me to Tell It
“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose.” – Janis Joplin. When an adoptee is adopted, we are immediately put in a position where we are expected to forget our former selves and carry on with life as if our pre-adoption life never existed. … More
She Said I Would See Her In Heaven One Day, So I Decided I Didn’t Want to Go.
Disclosure Statement: If you are someone who considers yourself a Christian, Jesus Follower, Church Goer, Religious Guru, Or if you believe your way of spirituality is the only way, I am asking you to save your comments, judgments, and opinions and share them on other… More
100 Heartfelt Adoptee Quotes that Honor the Truth of Adoption
You have come to the right place if you are looking for the best adoption quotes from the adoptee’s perspective. This article shares 100 Heartfelt Adoptee Quotes that Honor’s the Truth of Adoption from the adult adoptee perspective. As we enter 2022, I decided to… More
Big Adoptee Feelings, Learning to Feel the Feels While Coming Out of the Fog
I remember back to the earlier days of my life, particularly in my pre-teen years, and I was so angry about my birth mother never coming back to get me; I just wanted to die. I hated the world and, I hated everyone in it.… More
My Friend Has an Adopted Child, and They Don’t Have Any Issues With Being Adopted
“Well, Joan is a close friend of mine from church, and she adopted two daughters from overseas in the 1980s, and they don’t seem to have any of the issues you are speaking about. On the contrary, they seem pretty thankful and happy that they… More
Lying Lips and DNA Kits
It’s not enough that many times the information that is relayed over to the adoptee/relinquishee is shadowy at best. Still, often we are presented with information based on inaccurate data that is usually restricted and modified to stall the adoptee/relinqishee or throw them off entirely… More
Finally Sending Off For My Original Birth Certificate After 47 Years!
Today is January 1, 2022. I never thought the day would get here where I could finally say that I could apply to receive my original birth certificate from the Iowa Department of Public Health. But unfortunately, most non-adopted people don’t know that most adopted… More
Dear Non-Adopted Friends & Family Members
I will do my best to share from a place of grace because a lot is on the line here, but I also refuse to sugarcoat things to make them comfortable for anyone who reads this article. Hopefully, I can reach a middle ground that… More
Bridging the Gap Between InterCountry Adoptees and Professionals
I spent 47 years of my life in and out of therapist’s offices back to five years old. I remember each time I was seeing a new therapist, the concept and idea of adoption was never brought to light or to the surface. EVER. As… More
Adoptees Deserve Far More Than What They Get
*Disclosure Statement: I do NOT claim to speak for all adoptees in this article, nor do I claim ALL adoptive parents are abusive or fit the narrative of the topics brought to light in this article. CHILL #apfragility And for the record, Jesus, his love,… More
Adoptees, Pseudonyms & Identities
The topic of identity can be a lifelong paradox and struggle for many adoptees. It’s much easier for adopted individuals to tap into their true identity when they have the truth to guide them along the way. However, for many of us, we experience secrecy,… More
Adoptees, Mental Health & Daily Self-Care
Once again, I’m noticing a significant amount of changes in the adoptee community, and it’s helped me reevaluate and reorganize my commitments on where I stand within this community. We all have the abilities to make these choices for ourselves. Back in 2010, when I started… More
Twenty Seven Years of Wishful Drinking Died Nine Years Ago, So Did I
“NEW BEGINNINGS ARE OFTEN DESCRIBED AS PAINFUL ENDINGS” – LAO TZU August 13th – This was not only my earthly birthday, but it’s my re-birthday. What’s my re-birthday? It’s the day I decided to live alcohol-free. I have double reason to celebrate, so I shall.… More
Learning to Live and Hike with Supraventricular Tachycardia (SVT)
This is unequivocally the last topic I want to be writing an article about, but here I am. Acceptance is a real MOTHER! Up, at the crack of dawn early on my second Saturday morning, to share a topic that’s one of my least favorite… More
The Fight of My Life Revised
THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE – REVISED by Pamela Karanova August 13, 1974, the fight began, The minute I was born, my birth-mother ran. Conceived out of a drunken one-night stand with a married man, Did my tiny body ever feel her warm, soft hands? A… More
Launching the Pamela A. Karanova Podcast – Finding Purpose in the Pain – One Adoptees Journey from Heartbreak to Hope and Healing
I’m excited and honored to share a project I’ve been working on for a long while now, months to be exact. I consider this project a gift to the adoption community, and I hope somewhere along the path of life, it helps others. I know… More
My Adoptee Awakening and Cutting Through Spiritual Shortcuts
Disclosure Statement: If you are someone who considers yourself a Christian, Jesus Follower, Church Goer, Religious Guru, Or if you believe your way of spirituality is the only way, I am asking you to save your comments, judgments, and opinions and share them on other… More
Disseminating my Deconstruction with Religion, Christianity, Church and Adoption
I’ve recently come to a empowering place in my recovery journey where I’m starting to share my deconstruction experiences with Christianity, Church, Religion and Adoption. They are so similar in so many ways. I’m writing as a healing tool for myself, but for others who… More
Honored to be a Spotlight Guest Tonight – 5/28/21- NAAP Adoption Happy Hour
TONIGHT – National Association of Adoptees and Parents – AdoptionHappyHour – 7 pm est – Pamela A. Karanova – Adoptees Connect, Inc. Join host Marcie Keithley as she welcomes spotlight guest Pamela Karanova. Pamela is an adult adoptee, living in Lexington, Kentucky, was born in Waterloo, Iowa, in 1974. Although Pamela’s roots… More
My Sentiments on Iowa Bill HF855
My Sentiments on Iowa Bill HF855 IA HF855 – A bill for an act relating to access to a copy of an original birth certificate by an adoptee or an entitled person, providing for fees and including effective date provisions. (formerly HF 723, HSB 226)… More
Earth Day, Mother’s Day and My Adoptee Epiphany
Today is Earth Day, and Mother’s Day is right around the corner. What does each of these days mean to me, being an adult adoptee? Let me back things up a bit and explain what my experience was like with my earthly mothers. My first… More
Do not assume when an adoptee finds their biological family, all their problems will be solved, and the case will be closed.
They say to prepare, but there is no real way to prepare for what some adoptees find when they make the choice to search for biological family. Searching for and finding biological family as an adoptee is opening up Pandora’s box repeatedly. It is… More
Internal Family Systems Model – Introducing A Teenage Part – Goddamn Green Girl
Trigger Warning: Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Rape, Suicide Please consider reading my previous two articles before reading this one. They will help you understand this article better. You will find them here and here. As I started to get my feet wet to learn about… More
Learning About Internal Family Systems, Identifying Parts, and Honoring My SELF in The Process
My close friend Stephani has hipped me to the world of Internal Family Systems – IFS, and it’s changed my life. I will be candid, Stephani has been talking about doing “Parts Work” for as long as I’ve known her, but I had no idea… More
That Moment I Wanted My Mom, Then I Remembered I Don’t Have One.
On February 19th, I had an accident where I slipped hard and fell on the ice, and I hurt myself badly. I was trying to get to work to take the lady I care for to get her Covid-19 Vaccine, and time was in a… More
Join Us in Celebrating the Launch of the Adoptee Remembrance Day Website Powered by Adoptees Connect, Inc.
We are eager and enthusiastic to unveil the Adoptee Remembrance Day website with you! As the very first Annual Adoptee Remembrance Day launched in 2020, it’s created a firestorm of activities across the globe that take part in this day. Such a symbolic day for… More
The Difference in Today, Feeling the Feels
I’ve come to a recent discovery after doing some self-reflection that I am someone that takes longer than your average person to process feelings, especially ones that are considered heavy or disheartening. I’m naturally a BIG feeler and a deep thinker. While discovering this, it… More
Adoptees are Paying the Price for Adoptive Parent Infertility Compacted with AP Fragility
It is not enough to lose your biological mother at the beginning of life. Still, adopted individuals also must live up to unrealistic expectations set upon us by society and our adoptive parents. We must fit in the shoes of the fantasized biological child our… More
When Your Biggest Blessing Invalidates My Greatest Trauma
When your biggest blessing invalidates my greatest trauma it sets me up for a lifetime of pain, suffering and isolation. It facilitates a lifetime of suicidal ideation, because the pain is just too great to process. It makes me feel more isolated and alone than… More
My Views on Adoptee vs. Relinquishee
Over the last few years, I’ve learned the noteworthy difference in the concept of an adopted individual referencing themselves as a relinquishee and why this is even a thing. Take note while I share here, I’m sharing from the perspective of an adoptee adopted from… More
2021 – A New Year, A New Chapter
It’s time to turn the page We’re winding up 2020, which could very well be the worst year of many of our lives. It’s been so weird, in so many ways, that most of the time, I don’t even have the right words to share… More
I’ve Got Nothing for National Adoption Awareness Month 2020
I’ve spent years pouring my heart and soul into NAAM, and at the end of November, my heart and entire soul feel completely exhausted, not to mention my emotional and mental health take a tremendous toll. National Adoption Awareness Month is heavy, like a duffle… More
Adoptees Connect, Inc. Teams Up with Rebecca Sansom, Filmmaker for Reckoning with the Primal Wound
Originally posted on Where Adoptee Voices Meet:
The last week was a whirlwind as we launched our first Annual Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th. The day went out with a bang, and our message was delivered worldwide as the truths in adoption were brought…
What You Can Do to Support Adoptees on Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th
As Adoptee Remembrance Day is approaching, I have felt like it would be essential to share a few things that we need from our friends, family, loved ones, and even those who aren’t close to an adoptee but maybe they know one. If you need… More
Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th – Express Yourself
As Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th approaches, a fundamental component to this day is to encourage all the adoptees to share their feelings on this day. The ways to get involved are limitless, but I have created a comprehensive list of how to participate… More
It’s Hard to Smile Today – My Tribute to Adoptee Remembrance Day 10/30/2020
It’s hard to smile today when so many adoptee smiles have been washed away. If you know an adoptee, let me take you on a ride in an Adoptee’s mind. Please sit down and give me a few minutes of your time. Imagine being in… More
Acknowledging My Dance with Depression
This isn’t an easy topic for me to write about, but I feel it deep in my soul that it’s a topic I need to bring to light. Especially right now in our current times. I have never acknowledged that depression has impacted me, and… More
Ignorance is Bliss, My Experience with Therapying the Therapist
At 5 years old I remember the first time I sat in a therapist office. It was my adoptive mom, my adoptive sister and me. She used triangulation tactics to turn my adoptive sister and I against one another. It was a regular scene at… More
Taking My Adoptees Connect Hat Off
For now, but not forever. Disclosure: This article does not mean I’m quitting Adoptees Connect, Inc. It means I’m taking the Adoptees Connect hat off when I share certain things about my journey, as well as when I write here in my blog. One of… More
National Suicide Prevention Month, Mental Health Awareness Month & Positive Culture
September is National Suicide Prevention Month; October is Mental Health Awareness Month and I can’t help but put an emphasis on the adoptee community as these occasions approach. I’ve learned in my own personal journey, that one day I can be sitting on the mountains,… More
Adoptee Dreaming & The Island of Lost
[DREAM] – Indulge in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired. [LOST] – Having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place, direction, etc. Dreaming – One more adoptee robbery to add to the list of LOST. The traditional concept of dreaming has… More
Honoring My Rebirth-Day!
Here I am again as another trip around the sun comes to an end while the last few months of 2020 is fast approaching. Yesterday I embraced the beginning of a brand-new trip around the sun. A new page. A new chapter in this book… More
My Experience with Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)
I wrote an article not long ago titled “RIP RECOVERY” I recently was triggered by previous traumatic events in a current way. Gah! This has created some mixed emotions, many based in anger and sadness. I credit ADOPTION: The gift that keeps on giving! I’ve… More
A Plea to Pregnant Moms Considering Adoption, From A Single Mom & Adoptee
I have no idea your circumstances, or what has led you to this place in your life, or this article but I have some information to share with you before you make your final decision that could possibly impact you and your unborn baby for… More
Learning to Just Be…
I’ve been working really hard at being okay with doing nothing, learning to JUST BE. I must be honest, It’s a new place for me. One more silver lining I give to Covid-19, but if I’m transparent, it hasn’t been easy. For 45 years of… More
R.I.P. RECOVERY
Never in a million years would I think I would be at a place where I would be writing about this topic, let alone feel like it is a piece of fabric intertwined into my journey. So much has changed in my life in the… More
15 Significant Steps Towards Adoptee Healing
I’ve had so many fundamental moments that have played key factors in my healing journey that I wanted to write an article about them in hopes to support my fellow adoptees on their healing journeys. Without these steps, I was stuck in agony and heartbreak.… More
Is Open Adoption The Answer?
Time to seek input from those of us who have the most expertise in the adoption constellation- The Adult Adoptees!⚡️ The topic of OPEN ADOPTION keeps being brought up as a solution to closed adoption, and I’m seeking wisdom from the adoptees here to share… More
The Adoptee Expressway to Recovery Has More Than One Way
I’ve learned the hard way, that the one way that’s usually presented as an express track to recovery and sobriety, isn’t the only way. I’ve also learned that there is nothing fast, quick or express about it. I’ve found that when one way is presented,… More
Drowning in Adoption
Covid-19 has changed my life enormously, but before it came along I was spread thin, embarking on a social, emotional, and mental breaking point. Covid-19 was what actually allowed me to take some steps back and re-evaluate my life. With this step, I’ve been able… More
Welcome to The Club, The Power of Black Coffee
Never in a million years would I believe I could sit here before you and share some big news. This might just be the day the roof caves in. Let me backup a little bit. Back on August 13, 2012 I wrote an article about… More
Happy Mother’s Day to The Missing Mother
Mother’s Day is approaching and it is a touchy day for so many people, especially adoptees. I seem to find words to write about how I feel about Mother’s Day each year, and I’m noticing the more I heal in my own personal journey, the… More
Social Media Distancing – The Time Clock is Ticking
Allow me a few minutes while I share my new guidelines for social media distancing. I am making some major changes in my personal and professional life, I hope to have more time to write about different topics of being an adoptee in recovery, and… More
I Keep Walking, Learning to Live for Myself, Love Myself, & Honor Myself
It’s interesting that I’ve been experiencing a new layer of an awakening process recently, even before Covid-19 came about. I’m so thankful for all things NEW, because that means I’m not sitting in the same spot for eternity. Many people are fretting about the isolation… More
Dead Man Walking
I began searching for my birth family as soon as I found out I was adopted around 5 years old. Everywhere I went, I was searching for HER, my birth mother. As I reached my early 20’s I had already found my birth mother. But… More
Mirror, Mirror – Mi Amor
Something about a MIRROR has always been extraordinarily symbolic to me. From the beginning of my life, the mirror brought me great sadness and pain, as I looked at myself I had no idea who or what was looking back at me. I would look… More
Adoptee in Recovery – When Forged Forgiveness Becomes Fatal
To my friends, David Bohl and GRH – Thank you for giving me the courage to write about this! As I continue on my recovery and healing journey, so many things are coming to the light about different areas I’ve navigated over the years. One… More
Finally, Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30, 2020
A You can find the original posting of this article at Adoptees Connect, Inc by clicking here. What is Adoptee Remembrance Day? Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30, 2020 serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of crimes against adoptees by adoptive parents, an action that… More
I Don’t Know My Mom
I don’t know my mom, but I wish I did. I’ve dreamed of her everyday ever since I was a little kid. Spending a lifetime of searching, I finally found her name but uncovering the truth has been a heartbreaking game. Adoptions don’t have beautiful… More
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Pamela Karanova 