Articles

She Just Had a Bad Adoption Experience

Wow, at how many times I’ve heard people whispering these sentiments as I walk on by with a giant-sized adoptee chip on my shoulder. I couldn’t even begin to count, but it’s a lot. Even when they don’t say it directly to me, I feel… More

Why Do Adoptees Search? An Adoptee Collaboration

I feel adoptees have the most powerful voice in the adoption constellation and we hold the keys to understanding and healing not only for ourselves, but the world around us. The key is that non-adoptees have the willingness to listen and learn. I would like… More

About Your Happy Adoption Story 

Something that continuously feels like a kick in the teeth is the need for anyone to proclaim how their adoption story was a wonderful one, in the midst of an adopted adult sharing how our experiences have surfaced grief, loss, trauma, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. … More

Lying Lips and DNA Kits

It’s not enough that many times the information that is relayed over to the adoptee/relinquishee is shadowy at best. Still, often we are presented with information based on inaccurate data that is usually restricted and modified to stall the adoptee/relinqishee or throw them off entirely… More

Dear Non-Adopted Friends & Family Members

I will do my best to share from a place of grace because a lot is on the line here, but I also refuse to sugarcoat things to make them comfortable for anyone who reads this article. Hopefully, I can reach a middle ground that… More

Adoptees Deserve Far More Than What They Get

*Disclosure Statement: I do NOT claim to speak for all adoptees in this article, nor do I claim ALL adoptive parents are abusive or fit the narrative of the topics brought to light in this article. CHILL #apfragility And for the record, Jesus, his love,… More

Adoptees, Pseudonyms & Identities

The topic of identity can be a lifelong paradox and struggle for many adoptees. It’s much easier for adopted individuals to tap into their true identity when they have the truth to guide them along the way. However, for many of us, we experience secrecy,… More

Adoptees, Mental Health & Daily Self-Care

Once again, I’m noticing a significant amount of changes in the adoptee community, and it’s helped me reevaluate and reorganize my commitments on where I stand within this community. We all have the abilities to make these choices for ourselves. Back in 2010, when I started… More

The Fight of My Life Revised

THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE – REVISED  by Pamela Karanova August 13, 1974, the fight began, The minute I was born, my birth-mother ran.  Conceived out of a drunken one-night stand with a married man, Did my tiny body ever feel her warm, soft hands? A… More

My Sentiments on Iowa Bill HF855

My Sentiments on Iowa Bill HF855 IA HF855 – A bill for an act relating to access to a copy of an original birth certificate by an adoptee or an entitled person, providing for fees and including effective date provisions. (formerly HF 723, HSB 226)… More

The Difference in Today, Feeling the Feels

I’ve come to a recent discovery after doing some self-reflection that I am someone that takes longer than your average person to process feelings, especially ones that are considered heavy or disheartening. I’m naturally a BIG feeler and a deep thinker. While discovering this, it… More

My Views on Adoptee vs. Relinquishee

Over the last few years, I’ve learned the noteworthy difference in the concept of an adopted individual referencing themselves as a relinquishee and why this is even a thing. Take note while I share here, I’m sharing from the perspective of an adoptee adopted from… More

2021 – A New Year, A New Chapter

It’s time to turn the page We’re winding up 2020, which could very well be the worst year of many of our lives. It’s been so weird, in so many ways, that most of the time, I don’t even have the right words to share… More

Acknowledging My Dance with Depression

This isn’t an easy topic for me to write about, but I feel it deep in my soul that it’s a topic I need to bring to light. Especially right now in our current times. I have never acknowledged that depression has impacted me, and… More

Taking My Adoptees Connect Hat Off

For now, but not forever. Disclosure: This article does not mean I’m quitting Adoptees Connect, Inc. It means I’m taking the Adoptees Connect hat off when I share certain things about my journey, as well as when I write here in my blog. One of… More

Adoptee Dreaming & The Island of Lost

[DREAM] – Indulge in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired. [LOST] – Having gone astray or missed the way; bewildered as to place, direction, etc. Dreaming – One more adoptee robbery to add to the list of LOST. The traditional concept of dreaming has… More

Honoring My Rebirth-Day!

Here I am again as another trip around the sun comes to an end while the last few months of 2020 is fast approaching. Yesterday I embraced the beginning of a brand-new trip around the sun. A new page. A new chapter in this book… More

Learning to Just Be…

I’ve been working really hard at being okay with doing nothing, learning to JUST BE. I must be honest, It’s a new place for me. One more silver lining I give to Covid-19, but if I’m transparent,  it hasn’t been easy. For 45 years of… More

R.I.P. RECOVERY

Never in a million years would I think I would be at a place where I would be writing about this topic, let alone feel like it is a piece of fabric intertwined into my journey. So much has changed in my life in the… More

15 Significant Steps Towards Adoptee Healing

I’ve had so many fundamental moments that have played key factors in my healing journey that I wanted to write an article about them in hopes to support my fellow adoptees on their healing journeys. Without these steps, I was stuck in agony and heartbreak.… More

Is Open Adoption The Answer?

Time to seek input from those of us who have the most expertise in the adoption constellation- The Adult Adoptees!⚡️ The topic of OPEN ADOPTION keeps being brought up as a solution to closed adoption, and I’m seeking wisdom from the adoptees here to share… More

Drowning in Adoption

Covid-19 has changed my life enormously, but before it came along I was spread thin, embarking on a social, emotional, and mental breaking point. Covid-19 was what actually allowed me to take some steps back and re-evaluate my life. With this step, I’ve been able… More

Happy Mother’s Day to The Missing Mother

Mother’s Day is approaching and it is a touchy day for so many people, especially adoptees. I seem to find words to write about how I feel about Mother’s Day each year, and I’m noticing the more I heal in my own personal journey, the… More

Dead Man Walking

I began searching for my birth family as soon as I found out I was adopted around 5 years old. Everywhere I went, I was searching for HER, my birth mother. As I reached my early 20’s I had already found my birth mother.   But… More

Mirror, Mirror – Mi Amor

Something about a MIRROR has always been extraordinarily symbolic to me. From the beginning of my life, the mirror brought me great sadness and pain, as I looked at myself I had no idea who or what was looking back at me. I would look… More

Finally, Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30, 2020

A You can find the original posting of this article at Adoptees Connect, Inc by clicking here. What is Adoptee Remembrance Day?  Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30, 2020 serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of crimes against adoptees by adoptive parents, an action that… More

I Don’t Know My Mom

I don’t know my mom, but I wish I did. I’ve dreamed of her everyday ever since I was a little kid. Spending a lifetime of searching, I finally found her name but uncovering the truth has been a heartbreaking game.  Adoptions don’t have beautiful… More

Saying “Hello” to Adoptee Grief & Loss

I decided to write a short article about this topic, because over the years of coming out of the fog and being in recovery it’s come to my attention that so much of the adoptee experience is rooted and grounded in grief & loss. If… More

Happy Mommy Dearest Day

Times Two  Mommy Dearest #1 is the mommy that gave birth to me. She relinquished all rights to parent me. She left me at the hospital then decided to flee. Mommy Dearest #2 is the mommy that adopted me. It took me a lifetime to… More

Adoptee in Recovery AKA Pamela Karanova

Spring is in the air, and life is to be lived! I hope whatever it is you are doing, you are enjoying life in the process! One thing I’ve learned over the last few years, is that we have to take time for ourselves. Whatever… More

Leaving the Church, Quitting the Search

Finding time to write in my own blog has been nonexistent lately. WHY? Because I’m putting everyone and everything in my life ahead of myself. Writing has always been EXTREMELY therapeutic for me for so many reasons. You can see my blog goes all the… More

Adoptee Pain

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are purely and entirely my own.  I do not claim to, nor make an effort to speak for all adoptees. – p.k.    “I want you to be healed in Jesus Name!” “Will the pain every go… More

Living Life By My Own Rules, Time Waits On No One

That’s one thing that’s certain, LIFE sure doesn’t slow down for any of us. Over the last few months things have swirled like a whirlwind, but learning to embrace things as they come has been key. My daughter graduated the University of Kentucky on May 6th… More

My Birth Mothers Shoes

I’ve experienced so many emotions when it comes to my birth mother, relinquishment, and rejection. Although I’m about 8 years into the “Coming out of the FOG” phase, I still grapple with emotions and feelings associated with my birth mother and her decision in relinquishment.… More

She’s Bad

If only we could see ourselves as other people see us. My feelings of being “bad” began in utero at the very beginning, at the moment of conception. These feelings are stored in my subconscious memory at a preverbal stage of life.  I was  born out-of-wedlock and I’m a product… More

Wishing I Was Aborted & Wanting to Die

I’m glad I was able to get your attention for a few moments… Over the years, I have written a bit regarding certain times in my life where I wished my birth mother aborted me. I’ve also written other times about wishing I would die or… More

Adoptee City

Adoptee City is my online community of adult adoptees who I have come into contact with over the years. Some live in the USA, and some across the world. Adoptee City filled with all different versions of adoptees, who all come from so many different… More

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