Greetings, friends & followers!
Many of you are already aware that I am now writing on my new Substack platform – The Real Adoptea Moxie! I am having a blast, and I would love to invite you to join me!
While some of you have been following my website for a very long time, I will be sure to update and visit to share snippets of some of the articles I am writing on my Substack platform. While life is busy, it’s been a bit challenging to keep up with two platforms, so my posting here won’t be as frequent as in previous years. However, I invite you to jump on over to my new Substack platform and subscribe today. This way, you don’t miss out on any of the newest articles and happenings.
CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE REAL ADOPTEA MOXIE on SUBSTACK
Ways to Better Understand & Support Adopted Teens
Ask Me Anything Column: Dishing out AdopTEA RealiTEA one article at a time via The Real Adoptea Moxie
QUESTION:
“My kids are entering their teen years, and my daughter especially has always grieved her mom deeply. I’m always looking for ways to understand and support her better. We are very different, and she struggles to feel like she belongs. If you have any advice or other articles to point me to, I’d appreciate it.” – Larissa | Adoptive Mom
Jesus Didn’t Heal My Adoptee Wounds, But Accepting My Pain is Here to Stay Did
Trigger Warning: Suicide \\ When I accepted that my adoptee pain was here to stay FOREVER and that it would be a lifelong visitor, a vast, heavy covering lifted off me. This was when my healing began.
“First, I am not knocking you or your beliefs if you are a believer, Christian, Jesus Follower, etc. Suppose it works for you, fantastic. It just didn’t work for me. Second, I am sharing this article, so the adoptees struggling with this area learn they aren’t alone. Third, I am not sharing it so others can shame me for my beliefs, or lack thereof, or try to convince me I am wrong and they are right. Those days are over for me, and I will not engage.”
What I Wish My Adoptive Parents Had Done Differently
QUESTION:
“I have an adopted daughter who is eleven, and she’s struggling with being adopted. She has known she was adopted since she was six years old. I want to help her the best I can, and it hurts me to see her in despair. So I am seeking input from adult adoptees to understand the adoptee experience better.
So, what do you wish your adoptive parents had done differently? What should I do to bring her up as happy and healthy as possible? Thank you for any advice you can offer.” – Melanie | Adoptive Mom
Fierce Writing, Adoptee Smiling, Glowing & Thriving
I might not be the most traditional writer, but one thing is for sure the truth is the pathway to healing for us all.
Trigger Warning: Adoptee suicide, childhood sexual abuse, sexual abuse, rape.
“While I thought long and hard about launching The Real Adoptea Moxie before I started my new writing platform, I knew it would be an extensive adventure I wouldn’t take lightly. This writing project is a tremendous commitment, but one I have a passion for. The need to bring the truth to light about how adoption impacts adoptees is unwavering.”
Join Me for A Pilot Course: Self-Mastery for Adoptees by Danielle Gaudette
For Self-Love, Self-Forgiveness & Self-Empowerment
About Danielle Gaudette:
Danielle Gaudette is an adoptee who struggled from a young age as a highly sensitive person with her relinquishment wound. Through her unique experience as an adopted person, she has been helping people as a Body & Brain Coach for over 20 years with the tools that have helped her recover her own self-love, self-worth, and self-confidence. Her passion is to share those experiences and methods with other adoptees who may be going through similar struggles. She is also the author of Healing Tree: An Adoptee’s Story About Hurting, Healing, and Letting the Light Shine Through.
Adoptee Pain, Getting Honest, & Saving Myself
Unresolved wounds plague adoptees, and the lack of resources for the complexities of the adoptee experience has left us feeling hopeless, broken, and misunderstood.
“If letting go of the adoptee pain was that easy, I would have done it long ago. Imagine one side of a switch saying, “Happy Adoptee,” and the other saying, “Angry/Mad/Sad Adoptee.” What adoptee wouldn’t flip the switch to happiness if that was an option?”
One of The Paramount Keys to Adoptee Healing is Feeling
Many of us might try to escape our adoptee pain by seeking external sources of happiness, but true happiness comes from within.
“We can run from our adoptee pain but can’t hide for long. Pain is an inevitable part of life. We all experience different forms at different times. Unfortunately, many Adoptees often avoid feeling feelings by suppressing their emotions, distracting themselves, or numbing their realities.”
Dandelions, Angry Adoptees, and Solidarity
The wound from separation trauma ran deep and wide, leaving a profound gaping hole that left me feeling hollow and empty for most of my life.
“I always thought dandelions were lovely, and they reminded me of mini rays of sunshine scattered all over the yard. So what’s not to love about mini-rays of sunshine? I remember always being told not to blow the seeds apart because it would make many more dandelions. I don’t know about you all, but whenever someone told me not to do something, I wanted to do it more. I am likely responsible for half the dandelions in Iowa, where I grew up.”
Go Mother, It’s Your Earth Day!
Celebrating nature is to me like a mother is to her child. This is why nature, mother nature, is my first love.
“Shout out to Mother Earth, my one genuine true Mother. Today, it’s HER DAY, so I am celebrating endlessness.
My connection to mother nature, aka mother earth, goes back to my earliest memories in my childhood. Around five years old, I learned I was adopted, and everything immediately became very confusing and complex.”
Unruly Adoptee Anomaly, Unapologetically
I forfeit being quiet. I quit, so I am free, to tell the truth, as I see it. I don’t claim to speak for all adoptees, but years ago, I made a pact with myself constantly to be true to myself.
“For over a decade now, I have fiercely committed to publicly slaying the popular narrative of Adoption. I have poured countless hours of blood, sweat, and tears into exposing the underbelly of adoption, the challenging topics no one wants to discuss.”
Whether you’re a free or a paid subscriber, I’m excited to have you as part of
The Real Adoptea Moxie Community, and thank you for supporting my work!
I hope where ever you are in your adoptee or adoption journey, you know you aren’t alone. If you need someone to talk to, consider setting up a table talk chat with me. I have intentionally set aside this time to listen, hear and validate others who might need support. Click here to learn more.
Click Here to Book A Table Talk Today
Understanding is Love,
Pamela A. Karanova
The Real Adoptea Moxie is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
ASK ME ANYTHING COLUMN
Each month, all subscribers receive an “Ask Me Anything” newsletter — which will answer one or two adoptee-related questions from paid subscribers. Think: What adoptee healing tools have been the most valuable to you? How have you navigated the grief and loss process? What made you want to search for your biological family? How was your reunion once you searched? Do you regret searching? If you have a question for me, please email it to: pamelakaranova@gmail.com
Here are two recent questions:
When Speaking to Adoptive Parents About Adoption
Ways to Better Understand and Support Adopted Teens
Here are a few articles I recommend reading:
100 Heartfelt Transracial Adoptee Quotes that Honor the Truth of Adoption by Pamela A. Karanova & 100 Transracial Adoptees Worldwide
What Are the Mental Health Effects of Being Adopted? By Therodora Blanchfield, AMFT
10 Things Adoptive Parents Should Know – An Adoptee’s Perspective by Cristina Romo
Understanding Why Adoptees Are At A Higher Risk for Suicide by Maureen McCauley | Light of Day Stories
Toward Preventing Adoption- Related Suicide by Mirah Riben
Relationship Between Adoption and Suicide Attempts: A Meta-Analysis
Reckoning with The Primal Wound Documentary with a 10% off coupon code (25 available) “adopteesconnect”
Still, Grieving Adoptee Losses, What My Adoptive Parents Could Have Done Differently.
Pamela Karanova 