Grief Recovery Method® – Overview
The Grief Recovery Method ®(GRM) defines the broad extent of grief – and how common is it?
Grief is the normal and natural emotional response to change or loss of any kind – adoption, death, divorce, moving, financial changes, health changes, relationship changes, and on and on… Grief is also the result of unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations and the loss of intangible concepts such as safety, trust, security, respect, faith… and hope. Grief is universal. All of us have experienced grief throughout our lives as a result of many changes and losses, especially if we are adopted. But we are not well prepared to really handle, manage, or recover from the emotional impact that results from these changes and losses from being adopted and in life in general.
The GRM explains why we are so ill-prepared to recover from our adoptee grief if it’s so universal and a normal and natural response?
Just as our grief is universal, the ineffective ways of dealing with it are also pretty universal. Often, the way we manage our grief is the same – or similar to – the ways our parents and other key figures in our lives have managed theirs… in fact, sometimes for many generations. In addition to parents and key family members, we also learn ineffective tools for dealing with grief from other key adults in our lives as we are growing up – teachers, clergy, coaches, counselors, and even the media and TV and music personalities.
Grief is an emotional response – yet often, we try to ease our grief by using intellectual tools – we try to “figure it out,” “solve it,” or “understand” it. Just as if we were asked to paint a room but were only given a hammer and a screwdriver, we cannot accomplish the task of recovering from grief with inappropriate tools. If given a paintbrush, paint, and a drop cloth, we could indeed paint a room. Given the proper emotional tools, we can also achieve recovery from our grief. That’s what the Grief Recovery Method provides – the appropriate emotional tools for doing this work.
How does the Grief Recovery Method help achieve Recovery?
The GRM is just that – a method – a step-by-step process – an “action program” – for unlocking and respecting the emotional experience of our grief – both the immediate or presenting grief issues – and those that may have been holding us captive for years. Often, the most recent or presenting loss is actually made more difficult by related experiences from our past that were not recognized or addressed at the time – adding weight to that resulting from the current loss.
Through a defined step-by-step process, the GRM first explores the “old, ineffective tools” we’ve been using, with the belief that it’s hard to learn new tools if we don’t understand why the old ones might not have been effective. Then, the process shifts to the introduction of new tools which can be used across a wide gamut of losses – from persons, to pets, to hopes and dreams and expectations, to those intangible things like trust, safety, or faith. At every step, the griever is respected, listened to, and heard without judgment or analysis and is supported in identifying and giving voice to the array of emotions that accompany the full extent of the loss. Once the GRM process is completed for one loss, it can be used over and over again to address other past losses and to help more quickly address new losses.
What is the GRM process like – how is it different from other grief support programs?
The GRM is an action-based program that involves reading and writing assignments, as outlined in “The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses.”
The GRM has been shared for over 40 years on six of seven continents, with the book being translated into over 20 languages.
The GRM is a time-limited program with a set number of sessions, depending on whether one works the program alone or in a group. If done in the group format, it is not a “drop-in” group, meaning that participants stay throughout the entire program to help build a sense of safety and trust.
The GRM is facilitated by a Grief Recovery Specialist® certified by the Grief Recovery Institute. These Specialists are trained to deliver the GRM and have experience working with various types of loss and people from all walks of life. Each of our Specialists has a deep desire to help grieving people.
The GRM is an evidence-based program that has documented statistically significant improvements in grievers’ knowledge, attitudes, and behaviors related to grief. More information about the research can be found at https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/evidence-based.
Adoptee grief work through the Grief Recovery Method is an essential tool for me, as an adoptee to heal and move forward in a healthy and empowered way. If you are adopted, I would love to take you on this journey with me. I am offering one-on-one workshops for fellow adoptees. Please visit my website’s Grieve, Grow, Glo tab to learn my workshop details, times, and dates, and sign up as soon as possible – they will fill up fast.
Are you wondering if the Grief Recovery Method is for you?
Click here to set up a 30-minute discovery call with Pamela. She can answer any questions and help you register if you think the workshop might benefit you!
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®
Pamela A. Karanova – Adult Adoptee
Pamela A. Karanova is an adult adoptee with a heart for helping her fellow adoptees and those in the adoption constellation illuminate the intersection of adoption, grief, and loss. Several years ago, Pamela thought she was going to die from a broken heart from her adoption experience and has struggled with grief, loss, sadness, and a broken heart for most of her life. She believes the sooner the grief component is addressed in adoption circles, specifically for adoptees, the sooner the adoptee and adoptive families begin to heal. She hopes becoming a Certified Grief Recovery Method Specialist® and personal experience as an adoptee who is well versed in her adoption journey, will assist countless adoptees in healing so that, eventually, they can find freedom from the heartbreak adoption brings so many of us.
Do you need support sooner than later?
Booking a one-on-one table talk session below with Pamela while on the waiting list for a workshop can be an excellent way to connect and get to know one another. The Table Talk provides a lifeline for adoptees eagerly waiting to dive into the workshop content. During these intimate sessions, there is a unique opportunity to share personal experiences, ask questions, and receive guidance from someone who has been in your shoes. It’s a chance to build a supportive relationship and gain valuable insights that can help navigate the challenges of the adoptee journey. These sessions offer a sense of connection and understanding that can be genuinely empowering while waiting for the workshop to begin, and the insights gained can bring a sense of hope and optimism to your journey.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is experiencing a serious mental health event, such as suicidal thoughts or a crisis, please dial 911 and seek immediate help by contacting a licensed therapist or reaching out to the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text #988 for assistance and support.
Please note that we are not licensed therapists or mental health professionals, and therefore, we are not liable for any actions taken based on the information provided on this platform. Your mental health and safety are of utmost importance, and we encourage you to seek professional help in times of crisis.
Pamela A. Karanova 