My Future & My Flip Phone

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I’ve had a long time dream of being able to completely disconnect from electronics, and my smartphone but unfortunately a few things have stood in the way of this dream coming to life.

Until recently…

With the new Covid-19 coming to our communities, and peoples ignorance showing their true colors on social media has truly changed my life forever. I will never forget how many people posted 100x a day on their social media platforms regarding Covid-19 TELLING ME (and everyone else) what they need to be doing during this insane and intense time. I’m immediately turned off by these types of people, because it just so happens there is a possibility not everyone believes like you, so who are you to be TELLING OTHERS what they need to be doing? SMH. Disgusting!

In my opinion, social media has been designed to distract people from what’s really important and it has an addiction component to it. Social media is easiest accessible via our smartphones, smart tablets, computers, etc which are portable and we have become accustomed to taking them everywhere we go. I would suggest what’s really important to an individual person is different and we each have to navigate the path that best suits us at that present stage of our lives. Maybe social media is your only connection to the outside world, or maybe your smart devices keep you alive for various reasons? I get it. Everyone is in different spaces, I’m sharing where I’m at. 

One of the main reasons I’ve procrastinated on getting a flip phone and following my heart is because of how dependent we all become to our smartphone devices. Between GPS, Banking, Emails, Social Media, Music,  we’re truly on our phones sometimes hours a day. I don’t know about you, but especially during Covid-19 the obsession I’ve developed with checking my social media, emails, news, etc on my smartphone has increased greatly and become unhealthy for me. I realize this because I wasn’t giving my brain any “Down time” from processing information, and it was showing in my mental and emotional health. Time is the most valuable thing I have so I had to ask myself a question.  Do I really want to continue to waste the most valuable thing I have by sacrificing my time for my smartphone? 

I’ve learned over the last 5 years or so, that the most fulfilling times in my life are when I’m out in nature, either alone or with those I’m close too and I’m disconnected from all technologies all together. I’m sure you’ve noticed when you are around your friends and family, and even sitting at the doctor’s office almost everyone is on their smartphones. Even when you might only have one hour a month to actually sit and visit someone in person, they are still glued to their smartphones. I can raise my hand at being one of these people, but I can also raise my hand that things are changing for me and I no longer want to be that person. 

In respecting my time, I would like to respect the time of those I’m close to as well. 

I’m on call for work 24/7 so turning my smartphone off like most people can do, isn’t an option. I always have to have it right there, so this has caused me added stress and anxiety to feel like I have to be attached to this smartphone, and I have no choices like disconnecting from it like others do. My dilemma was how could I purchase a flip phone but still have my smartphone for small doses of use?  I finally found a solution in making this happen and I couldn’t be more happy with my decision. What it’s allowed me to do is keep my smartphone, but I keep it in airplane mode 95% of the time, and the other 5% is the only time I spend on it but using it for specific things that I’m not ready to sacrifice yet.  What would those things be? GPS to find hiking trails, my music, the little social media I still have, banking and email. As soon as I’m done, I turn it back off to airplane mode. 

My flip phone is basically for calls and text ONLY. Texting is only able to be done by voice command, because the only other option is typing each letter out the old school way which will take forever. 

I’ve been struggling with this internal tug-of-war regarding electronics for a while now. There is a true thing regarding addictions to electronics, and I’ve become increasingly aware of this over the last few months. However it’s something that’s been on my mind for years. As I grow in my personal journey, things shift and I hope they continue to shift, because that means I’m continuing to grow. Sitting around on the internet and being glued to smart devices and the television is not the life I want to live. I want to be free to be me, and the only way to do that is make significant changes in my mind, body and spirit. To be completely honest, social media and the internet give me significant anxiety and knowing this has allowed me to accept it and make changes. 

I’ve become increasingly turned off by turning the television on and I truly feel with my whole heart that it’s a blood sucker of time. If I’m completely honest, I hate the television. I hate to see others living their lives through the television shows. Not knocking any television watchers at all, it’s just not for me. I want to be out living my own life, and having amazing experiences in the process. To the root of my core, making memories is what pulls on my heart strings. 

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I want to be able to call my friends on the phone, and catch up with them like we used to do in the old school days. I want to be able to see them in real life, and to hug them like real friends do. I want to be able to make memories because in the end that’s truly all we have to hang onto, and when our memories fade hopefully we will capture memories in photographs that we can keep a lifetime. 

Another thing I’m investing in soon is a camera where I don’t become so dependent on my smartphone to keep my photos. You would be surprised at how social media sites, google, and anywhere on the internet want to keep your photos forever, and when you try to delete them they don’t allow you too. It’s happened to me a lot, and it’s really infuriating to me. So I’m making this change, so I have all my photos backed up on a camera and my laptop and I’m bypassing the smartphone as much as possible. 

 The other dynamic I’ve done much research on over the last few months is the RF EMF sensitivities that many of us have, but most people have no clue the symptoms they have might be related to Electromagnetic Frequencies that are everywhere around us at all times. There truly is no running from it, because our government is behind us being exposed to these toxic frequencies but we can ALL DO OUR PART in making changes in our personal lives for our health and happiness.  I’ve stopped using all bluetooth devices and I will be opting out at upgrading to any of these products in the future.

For inquiring minds, there are many negative symptoms of RF EMF exposure and they cause significant sensitivities in our bodies. Keep in mind – YOUR DOCTORS OR HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS ARE NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS. We have to do our own research. I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO THE RESEARCH! Your health and happiness depends on it. 

 How to Reduce Your EMF and RF Exposure is a wonderful article. It says, “Because the brain and the heart are intricately connected and function with the highest density of voltage-gated calcium channels (you can think of these as electrical control centers within cells) compared to the rest of the body, these organs are the most susceptible to the damaging effects of low-intensity EMFs. When the intracellular signaling becomes disrupted, biological functioning becomes disrupted, meaning our bodily functions and systems are disrupted, leading to hormonal changes, impaired fertility, oxidative stress, emotional dysregulation, DNA damage, disrupted melatonin, and the breakdown of the blood-brain-barrier, among others.” 

Within the same year of having our WiFi router in my bedroom, I was diagnosed with Melanoma (in March) and not long before this I started having heart issues. Both resulted in surgeries but I never made the connection until recently by researching RF EMF sensitivities that there could very well possibly be a correlation. Of course there are other factors that could play a role, but RF EMF exposure could also play a role. It also doesn’t help that the cell and WiFi towers are right outside my bedroom window where I live. 

The more I research this topic and learn the toxicities of smart devices, WiFi, and RF EMF radiation that is radiating our bodies, the more disconnected I want to be. Knowledge is power, and I challenge you to start researching RF EMF sensitivities and eliminating as much as possible from your life. Document the changes you see. I plan on using my website to document my changes with my followers. 

Earthing and grounding has come to the forefront while I navigate this new chapter of img_9165my life. Not only is it healing to my mind, body and spirit but it’s something natural that’s been around for as long as the earth has been around. Go outside, take your shoes and socks off, and walk around in the grass, dirt, or sand. Connect with the earth and research the healing properties this will bring. Who I recommend you research is Clint Ober – Ultimate Longevity. Clint is the innovator behind the earthing and grounding movement. This movement has literally changed my life. I now sleep grounded at night, and I can notice a significant change in my health. Click the link above to learn more.

My future & my flip phone is only the beginning for me. While I move forward in life, I’m going to come up with more ways to disconnect from the electronic world as we all know it while increasing my connections with Mother Earth, and my close friends & family who I have in my life. I still want to share my nature adventures, because they have been the true pathway of healing for me in hopes to inspire other adoptees and anyone else that might follow my journey. Nature has been my #1 recommended resource for healing so please consider getting outside. You won’t know the healing benefits of this, until you try. 

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Over the last few weeks, I’ve been able to talk to some of my close friends on the phone using my old school flip phone, and I can’t even begin to tell you how awesome it’s been to hear their voices, and talk trash like friends do! That’s what I want at the forefront of my life in my relationships. I don’t want to live through social media anymore. Of course I will post some, really to inspire others but life is not to be lived through smart devices. It’s to be lived by going outside and living it. As always, I’m continuing to set more boundaries for myself, my life and my future. People don’t have to understand it, which is totally okay. My heart desires true, organic, intentional friendships. I won’t settle for the fake illusion that social media gives any longer. 

I do challenge you to try to step into a new way of life by entertaining the thought that too much time on smart devices might just be what’s standing in the way of you living your best life. For me, I tried to create a healthy balance for years on limiting time on my smartphone and electronics by setting reminders on time, etc. It didn’t work for me. So my future & my flip phone will be an adventure to be had and I’m excited to navigate the newness of this amazing shift in my personal and professional life. I’m determined to be true to myself, even when the rest of the world might not be able to relate. I’m following my heart and making no excuses along the way. 

Be adopted, many of us dance to the beat of our own drums because that’s all we’ve known since the beginning. I’ve learned to embrace this, be excited about it and continue to set the boundaries in life that work best for me. 

What boundaries have you set for yourself lately? How have they impacted the relationships with those close to you? Have they understood and respected your boundaries? 

Sending you sunshine, adventures, love & light from the bright side.

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Adoptee Writing Prompt- Birth Mother/First Mother

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To participate in Writing Prompts all you have to do is be an adoptee and have the willingness to SHARE regarding your adoption experience in relation to the writing prompt.

There is no wright or wrong in what you share or don’t share.

The key is: SHARE! 🙂 

Sharing is healing

This will be a weekly event in which the changing topic inspires adoptees to share stories, ideas, memories and as much or as little that comes to their mind regarding the topic and their adoption journeys.

Although the world can read and learn from us, I would like to save this space for adoptee only sharing.

Please leave your comment here ❤

 

I Write,I Cope- Adoptee In Recovery

Good morning everyone,
I just had it in my heart to write a little this morning before I go to work. I have a lot on my mind, as usual. But God is getting me through each day because I’m choosing to rely on him in my time of need.
I will give you a little update on my life. This coming Thursday April 3, 3014 I will give my testimony again at Celebrate Recovery. If you don’t know about this ministry it’s been life saving for me and many others around. It’s the largest Christ-centered recovery ministry in the world. I began attending in Oct 2012 and have been going ever since. My root issues are abandonment & rejection from being given UP for adoption. The side effects were anger, rage, low self-esteem, sexual issues and alcohol abuse. I say sexual issues because I was always trying to fill that void in my life with men, and sex but all I really ever wanted was my REAL mother. I know that might bother some people, but when you grow up not knowing who you are, or where you come from it causes a MAJOR trauma and a very low sense of sadness for me that I can’t even describe.
Each day as I make it through another I am constantly reminded of my adoption loss. I will be 40 years old in August. The ever so dreaded “Birth” day. I would rather crawl in a hole and die on that day, than celebrate (Sober). You see I quit drinking in Aug 2012. I had always depended on alcohol to take the pain away, but now I’m facing it head on. The birthdays were always tough, but now they are even harder. The best way I can explain it is just a deep paralyzing sadness that absolutely nothing can take away. Every single time someone says “Happy Birthday” I am reminded that the day I was born wasn’t happy at all. It was a very tragic and sad day. There is NOTHING to celebrate. I have removed my birthday from my social media page, and hopefully that will help. People look at me like I’m crazy when I try to explain it to them, and they just don’t get it. My poor kids don’t truly understand. I just wish the day was never here. I hate it with my entire being. I do pray about it, and I know God planned me and I am a celebration in his eyes. But that doesn’t change the fact that I was separated from my birth mother that day, and in my mind that was the worst day of my life. I don’t want to get suck with these thoughts. I want them to go away. But it seems as soon as I get over them, the dreaded day rolls around again. Now it’s 4 months away. I’m already getting sick thinking about it. Are there any other adoptees out there that feel this way about their birthdays?
Aside from that, each day I wake up thankful to see another day. Thankful I have made it “Out” of my old life. Thankful I found all my biological family. Although I have so much deep sadness about it, at the end of the day I continue to remind myself that so many adoptees will never EVER get the chance to find their roots or get the chance to see their biological parents faces even one time. I take myself back to the day I didn’t know mine. I don’t even think I would be here if I didn’t get to meet mine. I say that because I was so angry and hated the world for keeping my family from me. I didn’t even want to live not knowing who they were or where I came from. You would have to experience this to understand the depth of my pain. I know for certain MANY other adoptees feel this way.
Now I’m facing decisions about my adoptive “Mothers” declining health. She ruined my life for 31 years but now I am faced with questions about being there for her as her age begins to show rapid deterioration. I speak to my lay pastor about it, and we both agree that those who don’t know the whole story, or other Christians perhaps may have a problem with me not wanting anything to do with her, BUT until you know the whole story you really can’t have a say so. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HELL THAT LADY PUT ME THROUGH. I want to throw up at the thought of calling her “Mother”. She makes my skin crawl. I have forgiven her, but I can’t deal with her, and her funeral plans, and health issues are no longer my problem. I had to cater to her for 31 years, and serve her like she was my master and I’m done. She also never wanted to acknowledge my first family, and I have no respect for her because of all the things she’s done. I don’t wish any bad on her, and I do wish her happiness but the farther she stays away from me the better.
All I ever wanted was my REAL mother. But she didn’t want me. So this is what I think about when Mother’s Day comes, ALL holidays are a constant reminder of “Family”. Where is my family? Here with me and my children. I have made a life for US but I have daily sometimes hourly reminders of what adoption has done, and how it’s impacted my life. While everyone is taking pictures with their mothers, I wish I was. While everyone has long talks with their mothers, I wish I was. While everyone gets passed down special things from their grandmothers and great grandmothers, I never will. I will never have any memories to cherish, or pictures to remember. This is all a part of adoption that everyone expected me to never ever think about. Well, I’m not a baby or a child anymore. I’m a grown woman and adoption has had a negative impact on every single area of my life. No fantasy land here. Just my real true raw feelings. My place to share, hopefully someone somewhere will read.
Feels good to get it off my chest. I love my blog so much. Now I will end this post, and carry on with my life. Which I do love by the way,  aside from my adoption issues. They just so happen to be the worst and hardest thing I am dealing with and most people say it never goes away. We just learn to cope. Well I write, and it helps me cope.