Reclaiming. Recovering. Recreating. Retreating. Repeating.

img_4867Over the last few weeks I’ve been working on refreshing my online presence by recreating an accurate representation of myself via my website and social media. I feel this is something that’s important because as we grow, and move forward in life, our online presence needs to replicate our offline presence.

Originally, I intended to migrate my “Adoptee in Recovery” Facebook page over to “Pamela Karanova” by simply changing the name of the page. Sadly, Facebook doesn’t believe in simplicity. I’m left with no choice but to start over and create a new page, for the new chapter in my life.

I’m not going to lie; I’ve struggled with this because letting go of “Adoptee in Recovery” is letting go of a piece of me. I like to see a timeline of where I used to be, and how far I’ve come. I like that to be visible to others as well. It’s a part of my story, and a huge piece of who I am and who I’ve become today. My hope was to keep the same page on Facebook and let the new refreshing version of me take over, while still having the capabilities to look back to see how far I’ve come.

One of the wonderful pieces of recreating and rewriting my online presence to mimic my life today, is that I was able to save all my old articles all the way back to the first one which was dated March 31, 2012 – “A Letter to My Birth Mother” on my website.  Although I’m being forced to start my Facebook “like” page over, my old articles will always be present with my newly refreshed website which is now www.pamelakaranova.com

Adoptee in Recovery was a name I picked because it was fitting for me at that time in my life. It protected me, against having to reveal the true me.  Today, I’m still an Adoptee in Recovery, but my progress and healing is moving far beyond what I can represent behind a pseudo name.

Moving forward, I’ll be migrating much of my online adoptee advocacy to my new Pamela Karanova, “Like” page on Facebook. (link below) Some of my focus on my refreshed page will reflect 5 words.

 

Reclaiming

Recovering

Recreating

Retreating

Repeating

Over the last 10 years, I’ve experienced so many wonderful moments that have caused me to see things from a different light regarding my adoptee journey. Coming out of the fog from being adopted in a closed adoption, after 27 years of alcohol abuse was one of the hardest, scariest moments of my life. It felt like I was jumping off a cliff, with no one to catch me. I was terrified. The process of enlightenment and acceptance hasn’t been an easy thing to do. While it’s taken me a long time to get to this point, I’ve discovered countless tools along the way of things that have worked for me. They might not work for everyone, but my hope is to share them with others in the adoption community, specifically the adoptees. My pain will not go in vein, and I hope to help others while I share my story.

This personal platform of mine will be different than what I’m used to. My other platforms have been “ADOPTEE ONLY” to protect the sacred space for the voices always disregarded in the adoption constellation, that of the adult adoptees. Opening my life to anyone who wants to listen and learn, specifically non-adoptees is going to be a new position for me.  I’m a little nervous, but the fact is if anyone has the willingness to learn, I have the willingness to share my experiences with them so they can understand better.

Ester 4:14 says “Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created for.”

We all have gifts in life, and I feel all the heartache and pain I’ve experienced will be used for good. I hope the same for my fellow adoptees! For me, the key has been finding purpose in the pain. The new refreshed version of my life will be focused on my awakening process in finding purpose in the pain, and my journey from experiencing heartbreak to finding hope & healing.  One of the first steps to freedom and healing is authenticity and being true to myself. I will not live another day being repressed behind a pseudo name, hiding my real true feelings to protect others and myself. It takes bravery to step into this role, when so many years of my life, my thoughts have been controlled.

I know not everyone will be on this journey with me, and that’s okay. My journey isn’t for everyone. I write to reach other adoptees. I share my journey to reach other adoptees. My hope is, that if anyone is reading, listening and learning it might change someone’s life for the better. If I close this door, what purpose would I have? Life is all about finding purpose in the pain.

I want to say thank you for all my followers who have been on this journey with me all these years. I think over the years my growth has truly been because of all of you. I’ve learned from you; I’ve laughed with you and I’ve cried with you! Thank you for your continued love and support! The best is yet to come!

To follow my new page please click here. 10 days from today, Adoptee in Recovery will no longer be available online so be sure to like my new page to keep in touch.

Sending Renewed Love & Light,

d5a71516-b8fb-4335-9634-67a7c487301e

Reclaiming. Recovering. Recreating. Retreating. Repeating. 

2 thoughts on “Reclaiming. Recovering. Recreating. Retreating. Repeating.

    1. Thank you so much my friend! It’s definitely been a pretty amazing awakening process this far! Can’t wait to see what the future has in store! Appreciate your friendship! 😀💛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s