by Pamela A. Karanova
Adoptee Remembrance Day: October 30th, 2022, has recently passed, and the collective echoes of adoptee voices can be reflected worldwide. To learn more about this day, click here.
It’s no surprise at the outpouring of support the adoption community has received about this special day of remembrance for adopted people worldwide. No doubt about it, it was a difficult day, but every day, being an adopted individual, comes with its own struggles. Yet, we must consider that adoptees have never had the support they need to navigate such a lifelong, complex, and emotional journey.
One of the core components of Adoptee Remembrance Day is to create one day before National Adoption Awareness Month which is in November and National Adoption Day, November 19th, where adopted individuals can share from the deepest parts of their hearts the reality of how adoption makes them feel. Unfortunately, the Pro-Adoption narrative has always dominated the narrative, but adoptees are dying, and we can’t afford to stay silent.
Adoptees are overrepresented in prisons, jails, treatment, and mental health facilities, and we are 4x more likely to attempt suicide. Thankfully, the tides are turning, things are changing for the future generations of adoptees, and adoptee-centric resources are starting to surface more than ever before. But unfortunately, even with some resources surfacing for adult adoptees, our cries for help have been ignored for far too long. This is one of the many reasons Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th was created.
With our collective efforts, we’ve picked October 30th annually to share our hearts, and adoptees from all over the world showed up for this day, and they showed out. I couldn’t be more proud to be a part of this community. The adoptee experience is unique to each of us, yet we all share the ultimate loss of our beginnings, which can impact every area of our lives.
Nikki’s Tribute, “Don’t let the feeling that I’m all alone deceive me. Among the many reasons for this day, Adoptee Remembrance Day is to raise awareness about crimes committed against adoptees by adoptive parents, as well as suicide, and different kinds of loss that are experienced by everyone who is impacted by adoption.”
While the internet is overflowing with tributes from adoptees worldwide, we wanted to share a message of gratitude for everyone who participated, adopted or not. Your voice was loud, and we appreciate everyone who took the time to share something on Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th.
As the Adoptee Movement for Adoptee Remembrance Day continues to expand and grow annually around the world, more non-adoptees will learn that there is so much more to adoption than what they have come to know. Between now and then, Adoptees will continue to do outstanding work in the adoption community by raising their voices and sharing the truth about adoption. I commend each of you and appreciate you!
We are so sorry to all the adoptees who didn’t make it because their pain was too great. We will never stop exposing the hidden side of adoption, and we love you. For the adoptees who are hurting and can’t see past their pain. Don’t give up! You are not alone. To everyone who participated, THANK YOU! WE LOVE YOU! Sending you massive hugs of support and embracing you with love and encouragement to press forward in your cause.
Below are some online tributes for Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th, 2022.
Lisa Wool-Rim Sjoblom’s Tribute: “Today, October 30th, is Adoptee Remembrance Day. Today we mourn all the adoptees we’ve lost. Those who were murdered by their adoptive parents and other family members, and those who died due to neglect and abuse. Those we lost to suicide. Today we acknowledge all the adoptees suffering in their adoptive homes and whose please for help no one hears or believes. We recognize all adoptees struggling with depression, addiction, poverty, homelessness, abusive relationships and loneliness. We acknowledge those who have been re-homed – some multiple times, those without citizenship, those who have been deported and those who are incarcerated. We recognize all adoptees searching for their first families, all who are not allowed to reunite and all who are trying to get access to their birth certificates and other documents they’ve been denied for far too long. We recognize all adoptees who will never find their families and will never learn where they came from. We recognize that for many of us, adoption is a wound that will never heal, a grief that will never diminish and a trauma we will carry for the rest of our lives.”
Korean Adoptee Community in Germany‘s Tribute: “We are proud of this collage! It shows cohesion, understanding, love and trust. We are an international community and nobody has to be lone! Special thanks to our friends around the world.”
Sanjay’s Tribute: ” Thinking of all of us who haven’t been able to grieve the losses to our community because we’re supposed to be grateful/thankful. Or even how close I’ve come to that edge because the pain felt is overwhelming and I couldn’t imagine another way forward. For all adoptees today, I see you, I love you, and your lives matter!”
Carmen’s Tribute: “Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th. This day holds a special place in my heart. It’s one in which we reflect upon the hardships that are within being adopted. As well as remembering and honoring those in the adoptee community we have lost too soon. I light a candle to remember how far I have come in this adoption journey of mine. Had you known me as a child, even two years ago I never would have expected me to be speaking at my own candlelight vigil. Sharing with others my adoption journey has led me to a whole new world of healing.”
Valerie’s Tribute: Adoptee Remembrance Day is October 30th, 2022. Adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide than non-adopted people. Here is a bowl of yellow flowers from my garden for all my co-adoptees out there. Adoptees Matter, We Matter. So much love to all the lives we lost, those who have attempted, and for those who are still struggling.”
ADOPTEE’S & SUPPORTERS ON TiKTok
Reflections on Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th, 2022.
To our fellow adoptees, keep sharing and keep shining. We need you; you matter, and your voice is critical to the community that has been marginalized for a lifetime. Please take care of yourself and practice a healthy balance between self-care and pouring into the adoptee community.
Please visit the next Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th, 2023 Event Page on Facebook at CLICK ATTENDING! Invite all your friends and family.
Much Love and Gratitude,
Here’s a comprehensive list of some wonderful articles for everyone in the adoption constellation.
100 Heartfelt Adoptee Quotes that Honor the Truth of Adoption by Pamela A. Karanova & 100 Adoptees Worldwide
Before A Month Celebrating Adoption, A Day to Recognize Adoptee’s Trauma by Kathryn Post of Religion News Service.
Adoptee Recommended Resources by Adoptees Connect, Inc.
Recommended Resources by Adoptees On
Understanding Why Adoptees Are At A Higher Risk for Suicide by Maureen McCauley | Light of Day Stories
Suicide Amongst Adoptees by Hilbrand Westra
Adoptee Centric Therapist Directory – Grow Beyond Words
Adoptee Remembrance Day: Today by Light of Day Stories
Toward Preventing Adoption- Related Suicide by Mirah Riben
Adoptee Books- Visit adopteereading.com where you will find a comprehensive list of adoptee books recommended by adult adoptees.
Adoption and Suicide Prevention: Adult Adoptees Speak Out by United Survivors
Still Grieving Adoptee Losses, What My Adoptive Parents Could Have Done Differently by Pamela A. Karanova
Adoptee Remembrance Day by InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV)
Adoptee Remembrance Day by Adoptees On
Adoptee Remembrance Day Presentation by Brenna Kyeong McHugh
Adoption, DNA and the impact on a concealed life Tedx by Ruth Monning
Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th by Bastard Nation
It’s Hard to Smile Today – My Tribute to Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th by Pamela A. Karanova
Adoptee Suicide by Layla Schaeffer
Adoption BE-AWARENESS and Remembrance By Mirah Riben
Adoptee REMEMBRANCE Day by Janet Nordine, Experience Courage
Considering Adoption? What Adoptees Want You To Know by Pamela A. Karanova
Facing the Primal Wound of Transracial Adoption by Naomi Sumner
Adoptee Remembrance Day – October 30th YouTube Poetry Hosted By Liz Debetta
Listeners Acknowledge Adoptee Remembrance Day by Adoptees On
Adoptee and Identity by Just Jae
Adoption and Addiction by Paul Sunderlund
The Trauma of Relinquishment- Adoption, Addiction, and Beyond by The OLLIE Foundation
Adoptee Suicide in the Media by Jeanette-ically Speaking
An Adoptees Nightmare by Cryptic Omega
6 Things You Should Know About Adoptees and Suicide by Jennifer Galan
InterCountry Adoptee Memorial by ICAV
I’m Adopted: You Can’t Fix Me or Take My Pain Away. Please Stop Trying by Pamela A. Karanova
Transracial Adoptee Voices of of Love and Trauma by Mikayla Zobeck
What is Gaslighting and How Does it Impact Adopted Persons by Dr. Chaitra Wirta- Leiker
Creating Space To Find Who I Am – Pamela Karanova – Who Am I Really Podcast? Damon Davis
The Secret Identity of An Adopted Child: Catharine Robertson at TEDxBaltimore
Article on Light of Day Stories about Adoptees Connect, Inc.
Bringing Adult Adoptee Issues to Light by Angela Burton of Next Avenue
These Adoptees Refuse to Be Christian Pro-Life Poster Kids by Kathryn Post of Religious News Service
Dealing with Adoptee Suicide by Lynelle Long
Adoptees, Why Are You So Angry? Over 100 Adoptees Share Heartfelt Feelings by Pamela A. Karanova & Adoptees Worldwide
We Should Be Fighting for a World Without Adoption by Michelle Merritt
When Your Biggest Blessing Invalidates My Greatest Trauma by Pamela A. Karanova
What it Costs to be Adopted by Michele Merritt
The Mental Health of US Adolescence Adopted in Infancy by Margaret A Keyes, PhD.
Cancelling My Adoption by Netra Sommer
Rediscovering Latent Trauma: An Adopted Adults Perspective by Michele Merritt
Adoptees 4 Times More Likely to Attempt Suicide by Jenny Laidman
Infant Adoption is a Big Business in America by Darlene Gerow
Give Me Back My Name by Michele Merritt
Stop Weaponizing Adopted People for Your Anti-Choice Agenda by Michele Merritt
Adopted Children at Greater Risk for Mental Health Disorders by Madison Park